Day 114: Scared of the call

I woke up early, hoping to take charge of the day and I managed to make a pretty good effort at it.

I sealed the grout in my bathroom and then headed to the local home improvement store to switch my paint to a different color for my master bathroom.

Once at home I attempted to try a small area of the bathroom just to check the color and to make sure the paint would stick, before I knew it I had painted the entire bathroom.

There was a nice sense of satisfaction to getting the bathroom one step close to completion.

As the work of the day was done, I started thinking about the guy the matchmaker was setting me up with, he should be calling tonight.

Crap! I am soooo not ready for this.  My intuition is kicking in, and I just don’t think this is a good idea, so I broke open a bottle of wine and started drinking.

By the time 7 o-clock rolled around I knew I needed to do something.

I was starting to feel a little drunk.  A lot of times I can mask my drunkeness, but I had a feeling tonight was not one of those nights.

On one hand I wanted to keep drinking, because I didn’t want to talk to the matchmaker guy, but if he did call I also didn’t want to sound drunk.

So I called the BFF.  If I heard myself talking out loud I would know if I was drunk and if I couldn’t tell, she would be straight forward with me.

We talked for a long time.  I filled her in on the interview with the matchmaker and the dreaded phone call I was waiting for, and then the conversation turned to her wedding plans.

We are trying to keep it on a budget but it’s hard to plan when all the variables are up in the air.  I say ‘we’ because I feel like I am part of the planning process.

After working through a lot of different scenarios and I had outlasted the window of opportunity for the phone call I finally breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed another glass of wine.

But I wasn’t done.  I don’t have a lot going on this week and I was hoping to fill the gaps to make it difficult to get together.  I found myself frantically emailing my local relatives in an attempt to line something up just to avoid the date.

I even thought about somehow sabotaging the date or avoiding the date all together and sabotaging the call with my drunkenness.

I’m secretly hoping the guy I’m supposed to be set up with found himself a woman so I don’t have to go out with him.  Wow that’s really bad but it’s how I feel at the moment.

If I can just hold out long enough to get to my tea leaf reading on Tuesday maybe I can get more information to help me make a decision one way or the other.

Maybe I just don’t want to deal with it.  Why can’t love just be magical?  And sweep me off my feet?

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