Day 113: The run away dater

After getting drunk to avoid the phone call of the matchmaker date I decided it wasn’t in my best interest to continue with the process.

I woke up today with some serious trepidation.  What was I thinking?  How is any of this a good idea?

If I was sold on the idea and excited about it, I may have had a glass of wine to calm my nerves, but several just to get through the thought of a phone call is a very… very… bad sign.

How many drinks would I have to consume to manage my way through the actual date?  That’s an insurmountable task I believe.

I am usually a trooper and despite anxiety or having second thoughts I still manage to make it through, but there have been on very few occasions distinct feelings that I should just run away and this is one of them.

I’ve been struggling with this one since leaving the matchmakers house, at first I thought it was anxiety, then reality set it and I determined it was much different.

It was the same feeling I got when I bought my last car.  The car salesman sent me home in an automatic, blue car with a tan convertible top.

By the time I got home I knew it wasn’t right.  I wanted nothing to do with the car and I couldn’t wait to get rid of it.  I called the dealership and told them I was bringing it back just several hours after taking it home for my ‘overnight test drive’.

They explained to me my insurance covered me in the car but that was not the issue.  The issue was, this car was not the right fit for me.  It was not what I wanted and I wasn’t going to rest until I got what I wanted.

When I returned the car the salesman asked what was wrong and I told him the car wasn’t right.  He asked what I was looking for and I told him… ‘It needs to be red, with a white top and a manual’.

He politely told me that car doesn’t exist or that it was going to be very tough to find but I didn’t care.  It was what I wanted and I was going with my gut.

The next morning they called and low and behold the car just happened to be in the back lot and I bought it.  12 years later it is still mine and I still absolutely love it so there is something to be said for trusting my intuition.

When I emailed the matchmaker to let her know, she was obviously disappointed and asked what was bothering me?  I explained my position and said I felt really bad about being the ‘run away date’ (which I do) even offering to help find the guy a date with spunk, which she mentioned during our meeting.

She replied with ‘if you can find someone like you with a personality send her my way!’

Wow, I don’t quite know how to take that one, but it did make me laugh.  I doubt she meant it in the way I initially read the comment, but it was out there.

In a way the comment said it all, I am not the spunkiest of girls.  I have some spunk on occasion but it’s not always evident.  I’m kind of stealthy, it comes out when you least expect it.

And that was one of my concerns, if he is looking for spunky and I am not spunky then why waste either of our time.

I’m now left wondering if he is the blue car and I’m holding out for the red convertible with the manual transmission, maybe that equates to Prince Charming.

I think I’ll have a better idea tomorrow after my meeting with the tea leaf reader.

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2 thoughts on “Day 113: The run away dater

  1. Lori Smerz says:

    Okay- are you ready to hear this? First of all, I don’t know if dating in your late thirties is the same as dating in your young twenties, but I think your attitude needs to be the same. You need to date for the sake of DATING! I think what got in your head was the “contract”. It placed in the back of your head that you might have to one day commit to this guy and then maybe it wouldn’t turn out so good- so you ran.

    Think of dating in a different way. Think of it like you would any other activity, such as going out for a bike ride or hiking or seeing a movie with girlfriends or heck- even grocery shopping. Think of it as a ‘normal’ part of being single. “I am single, thus I must date.”

    I think of how many awful first dates I went on and how many great first dates that I went on. And none of them are related to how I met my husband. They have provided me with great memories of my single life. Somedays I cherish those more than my ‘married memories’.

    I know that you are not new to the dating scene, but I am not sure why you are so scared of a measily ‘one date’. Do you? If you can identify your hurdle, then you can get over it (or knock it down).

    Good Luck and I hope that I don’t read any more posts like this. I want to hear about the bad dates and the good ones.

  2. Ha ha, Thanks for keeping me on task Lori. I do think the contract played into it a little bit along with a few other factors. But don’t worry I will get back up on that horse and ride again, and I can’t wait to share the experiences with you!

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