Day 104: The Bra Whisperer

I have been looking forward to today with anxiety and excitement.  I had a bra fitting appointment with the Bra Whisperer.

Women I work with have already gotten their fittings and warmed me about the process.

‘She is flinging them everywhere’ Sunshine said.

Someone else ‘oh yeah, she pretty much feels you up.’

Great, why am I doing this again?  It’s not like I have rogue breasts going willie nilly in different directions.  They are pretty well behaved, going where they are supposed to most of the time.

Then I reminded myself again, oh yeah, because it’s a once in a lifetime experience.

Well, I guess there is that.

So after work I raced to my fitting.  As soon as I entered the store I was asked to fill out a form.  What problems to you want to fix with your bra?  Are there any breast issues you’re dealing with?  Oh wow… ok…. uh… no?

After a quick tour of the store I was ushered into a fitting room where I learned a few things about bras and sizes that I can’t believe it has taken me 39 years to find out.

Before too long my shirt was off and I was naked from the waist up.  How did this happen??  I’ve dated guys that have waited weeks to get to this point, and this woman managed to accomplish it in a matter of minutes.

With military like precision she had a bra in hand.

‘Bend over and touch your toes’ she said.

I immediately did what she said, and before I knew it ‘the girls’ were hoisted into their proper holder and it was time to stand up.

But it didn’t stop there.  There was a little jiggling and shaking and a few quick pulls here and there to make sure they were both centered and standing at attention.

‘Do you have children?’ she said.

‘No’ I responded.

‘You have great breast structure.  Having kids can really suck the life out of them.  You’re fortunate’ she said.

I nodded as if to acknowledge this fact and then attributed my fabulous breasticles to my parents.

I quickly corrected myself ‘I guess I should say my mother, my father’s genes probably don’t play into this one.’

After trying on an armful of bra’s in a variety of different sizes and styles I walked out with 2 bras and 2 panties, feeling very confident about my purchases.

I had one sexy, and one very functional.  I couldn’t pass either of them up, because I am at an age where I should be splurging on myself…. especially because I don’t have kids… and I need to show off these fabulous breasticles as long as I have them.

I have learned my lessons… I know I shouldn’t take this body for granted so I’m going to live it up while I have the chance.

Besides… you never know when a hottie may come around, and I want to be prepared. 🙂


2 thoughts on “Day 104: The Bra Whisperer

  1. Lori Smerz says:

    The bra whisperer was right. Kids do change your boobage structure. Do they make bras to correct when one is significantly different than the other? I need a bathing suit top that does the same.

    • Yes they actually do have bras that can correct the different size issue. They also sell bathing suits with great support and structure. Intimacy is the name of the store and they have locations all over the country.

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